In just 3 short days my husband and I will no longer be on a waiting list to adopt. Our agency won’t be doing adoption placements anymore. To say I am crushed is an understatement. We have invested so much time, emotion, money, and HOPE into receiving another child through our current agency. Some people tell us to move to another agency- and while that is the most logical choice, there is an invisible yet very real layer of resistance made up of fear, hurt, and rejection. Unless you have been on a waiting list for 7 years, that layer is something that can’t really be explained or understood.
A chapter in my family’s life will soon be closing. The new year is coming in with a bang as I learn of new challenges our little family will have to face. And as I am trying to cope with the unknown, another very real door has opened and is trying to entice me in. It is the door of fear. I can not go through this door! I will not go through this door. Yoda’s famous quote from Star Wars is so applicable: “Fear is the path to the dark side.” I don’t want to become a bitter old lady but I know that fear is a step in that direction.
So I am desperately trying to figure out what will happen next for my little family. Will we push forward with another adoption agency? Will we donate our gazillion boxes of baby clothes/toys/books to charity? Or does the Lord have something entirely different in store for our family? I really don’t know. But I do know that it is going to take a lot of work to find and open the right door. I am reminded of a scripture in the new testament: “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” I just pray for the strength to push forward!
I watched a little of Oprah’s favorite things this afternoon. I have to admit that I was a tiny bit jealous of some of those amazing gifts! As my mind was thinking about how fun it would be to have been a part of that lucky studio audience, I had a thought.
I was once part of an audience where a selfless young woman gave me my most favorite and treasured gift. The location was a small room. The audience consisted of seven people, including my husband and I. The gift, given by the sweetest and kindest of earthly angels, was my daughter. Without the love and sacrifice of our birthmother, I would not be the mommy I am today. I would not feel the deep JOY that I know now. I am so immensely thankful for this gift.
Top that off with my sweet husband and I KNOW that I am greatly blessed.
No plane ticket to Chicago required.
happy thanksgiving 🙂
Adoption is such a miraculous process to be a part of. Finishing all the initial paperwork is a miracle in itself! And when we first met our daughter’s birthmom, my husband and I thought it was a miracle that anyone would choose US to be parents! What a blessing- and very humbling experience. Then when we met our Boo for the first time, we thought it was a miracle that anyone could be so beautiful. She was so tiny and delicate as a newborn! And now, as we celebrate the anniversary of her adoption day, that having our daughter in our family is the biggest miracle of all. So HOORAY for our adoption day!!
These are some of the things that we did to celebrate this special event:
- we bought our daughter a new car (you might say that she is too young to drive, but she does pretty well in her little tikes cozy coupe!)
- family dinner at the Olive Garden. This is the restaurant that we went to after we got the phone call that our daughter was born, and we went back there on her birthday, .. so that place has meaning and an added perk is their yummy salad!
- we did get some games- Candyland and a Ducky Shape Pond- since this is a celebration of coming together as a family, I thought that a good tradition would be to get a new family game every year that we can enjoy together.
- we are putting together a little gift for our birthmom- just something homemade and from the heart to let her know how much she means to us!
- we spent some time together at the park swinging high and going down a big twisty slide.
- I did make her a special adoption day video. The lyrics to the song Something Perfect are exactly how I felt about her adoption.
So Happy Adoption Day little Boo! Your mommy and daddy love you tons!
As the anniversary of my little one’s adoption finalization approaches, I have taken some time to reflect how our lives have changed. I no longer feel the deep emptiness in my heart. My arms don’t physically ache to hold a baby. My heart is full of joy and my arms are full of one squirmy, beautiful, brainy toddler.
Take a sec to read these lyrics of a song called Something Perfect by Michael Mclean… adoption is a PERFECT, beautiful process.
There’s an ache that’s missing today
There’s an emptiness that’s been filled
There’s a cloud that’s lifting and drifting away
There’s a ragin’ storm that’s been stilled
There’s a joy that’s real
There’s a wound that’s finally healed
There’s a future replacing the past
There’s breath of new life in the cast
And there’s something perfect happening here
And this moment will bury the mountains of fears
And through countless tomorrows
It won’t disappear
This something that’s perfect
No one knows, so no one can say
That tomorrow all will be well
Will the brightest promise that shines on today
Shine tomorrow? No one can tell
But one thing is sure
And will be forever more
When such unselfish love has been given
The world just made more room for heaven
And there’s something perfect happening here
And this moment will bury the mountains of fear
And through countless tomorrows it won’t disappear
This something that’s perfect
To our birthmom (and all birthmoms out there) THANK you for the sacrifice that you are willing to make. Without you there would be many empty arms and incomplete families. YOU are the reason we are WE and not just him and I. Thank you.
In a couple weeks we will be celebrating the one year anniversary of my daughter’s adoption finalization.
I am trying to come up with some great new traditions that we can have to mark this very special occasion….any ideas?
This is what I have thought of: (I am not doing everything on this list! Still in the brainstorming stage!)
- family picture
- personalized letters from mommy and daddy (to be read and then kept in a journal)
- make a crown
- mommy will make a special edition home video of my daughter
- her court date was on May 5- I am thinking of having a small Cinco De Mayo party with just the three of us with mexican food and a pinata
- eat from an “I Am Special” plate (we need to get one first)
- doing something fun as a FAMILY- like going to the zoo, aquarium, or amusement park
- exchanging gifts with all family members
- sending a package to our birthmom with some of my daughter’s artwork
Let me know if you have any ideas…. I want this day to celebrate not only my sweet daughter, but also our family becoming complete.
Adoption is an incredible experience. When my husband and I found out that we were unable to have our own children, it was nothing less than devastating. There was a deep void in our lives that we didn’t have the ability to fill ourselves. When my husband and I found out that we had been chosen to adopt a baby girl, it was nothing less than absolutely perfect. I wanted my daughter to have a book of her own sweet adoption story and thus this book was created!